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We Sat Down With Operation Ivy To Confirm Rumors of a Possible Reunion Between Me and My Ex

As rumors continue to swirl of a long-awaited reunion, we sat down with the legendary ska-punk band “Operation Ivy” to ask some questions. While the break up may have been long ago, recent social media posts suggested a possible reconciliation and we were determined to get to the bottom of this. Anyway, here’s what Op Ivy had to say about the possibility of me and my ex getting back together.

The Hard Times: What an incredible honor. You can probably guess the one thing on everyone’s mind right now.

Operation Ivy: Oh yeah. We get this question all the time.

It’s a real “will they or won’t they” situation, isn’t it?

You could say that.

So let’s get right to it then. Are the rumors true? Is Brenda going to take me back after dumping me six months ago for that jerkoff Todd?

I’m sorry, what?

Just look at these text messages from last week. She basically said right here that she can’t stop thinking about me. She’s, like, so obsessed with me.

Looks like the text says she wants you to stop messaging her at two in the morning.

Ok, but do you at least think I have a shot at a “friends with benefits” type situation?

I think you should move on. It’s like how bands break up. Some get back together but most never do. Who knows? I wouldn’t get your hopes up. That’s not what music or relationships are about. Just get over it, dude.

So, no reunion sex?

Not looking good. But there is a possibility of you two going out in a group setting. Not getting back together or anything. But maybe going out to a bar and reliving some of the good times with a couple of mutual friends.

I gotta be honest that sounds kind of underwhelming.

Well that’s all we can promise you at the moment.

I understand. Hey, while I’ve got you all here, can you play “Energy” in its entirety?