Well, this is just a fucking mess. Last night I went on what my ex refers to as one of my “dangerous binge drinking sessions”…
WASHINGTON — President Trump threw a life-like dummy of himself moments ago off a bridge onto sharp rocks below to seemingly avoid being impeached for…
WASHINGTON — Steve Bannon was flabbergasted to learn yesterday that his hate-filled, racist propaganda and rhetoric, once considered the cornerstone of the alt-right scene, is…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — President Donald Trump reportedly spent Wednesday morning roaming Mar-a-Lago Resort pining for the days when America consistently put out work that,…
CONCORD, N.H. — President Donald Trump began a campaign rally in New Hampshire yesterday touting the strength of the economy before veering from prepared remarks…
BISBEE, Ariz. — An “emergency” episode of the conspiracy theory-themed podcast Overacity Radio speculated about a direct correlation between the mysterious death of alleged pedophiliac…
DAYTON, Ohio — The United States of America was embarrassed to admit it accidentally double-booked two mass shootings within 24 hours of each other, sources…
BUTTE, Mon. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders wore a T-shirt at his rally yesterday featuring local Councilman Albert Beniman, who’d opened the rally with a…
WASHINGTON — Robert Mueller frustrated fans and detractors alike by playing the exact same set during an encore performance in front of the House Judiciary…
WASHINGTON — Presidents Donald Trump and Bill Clinton both denied reports today claiming they were backstage at Warped Tour ’97 partying and “checking out the…
Kentucky, let’s get real. Senator Mitch McConnell is probably the most evil politician in America today. Yes, Trump is louder and more outwardly hateful but…
EL PASO, Texas — An agent with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement was indignant today after once again being compared to a member of the…
WASHINGTON — A White House staffer confirmed earlier this week that President Trump had not yet been briefed about Nintendo’s announcement that it would be…
MIAMI — Former Vice President Joe Biden, considered by many to be the current frontrunner for the Democratic nomination against President Trump in 2020, was…
WASHINGTON — President Trump reversed this morning an Obama-era policy limiting the amount of guitar solos butt rock bands could include in a single song,…