Greetings, fellow wanderer. Are you homesick for a land you’ve never visited? If so, you may be stricken with a condition called wanderlust. I first…
KENOSHA, Wis. — Accidental researcher Justin Greer found that the standard for a “good song” on the radio drops considerably after only 25 minutes, during…
Let’s face it, work is a drag. We weren’t born to just pay bills and die, right? The problem with our society is that everyone…
WASHINGTON — President Trump signed a new executive order earlier today, banning Foreigner from the United States, White House sources confirmed. Dismissing such hits as…
TRONDHEIM, Norway — Norwegian customs officials detained U.S. black metal band VVulfblud during their Scandinavian tour for not having any weapons on their persons whatsoever,…
ÖRNSKÖLDSVIK, Sweden — Metalhead Scott Armstrong hoarded his savings for nearly two years to take a pilgrimage to the “Mecca of Metal,” Sweden, only to…
CHICAGO — Prominent crust-futurist Mark “Musky” Long gave a brief press conference today to promise a crust punk will squat on abandoned property on Mars by…
KALAMAZOO, MI – Local musician Danny Ramsey was visited by a futuristic, cyborg version of himself this week, who reportedly made a trip backwards through…
DECATUR, Ala. — Punk traveler Luis Ortiz was subject to an increasing amount of unfortunate events while exploring the country by boxcar during a recent…
WHITMAN, Mass. – With winter slowly drawing to a close, music fans are anxiously awaiting their favorite bands’ spring and summer tour schedules. Minutes after…
CHICAGO – After taking what was supposed to be a life-changing trip to India to “find himself,” local man Derrick Johnson returned home thoroughly disappointed in…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local man Aaron Forks spent the greater part of his day staring into his phone, attempting to post photos of an afternoon hike to…