SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Self-proclaimed alpha male, Jared Andrews, suffered a nervous breakdown last week when attempting to eat a banana without looking “gay,” authorities…
So you hit up the Taco Bell Cantina happy hour with some co-workers, slammed spicy margs till last call, were forcibly removed from the premises,…
TARZANA, Calif. – Straight Edge LAPD Officer Donald Harvey could not decide whether to plant narcotics on a man from Reseda after an altercation Friday…
BROOKLYN, NY — 35-year-old straight woman Jenny Spencer wasted no time introducing her boyfriend Mike Kang as her “partner” to her lesbian friend, Beth Castillo.…
CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a lot more action if he…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local straight edge man Matt Parrish reportedly thinks that his girlfriend of eight months is only interested in him for his clean,…
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Attendees of an all-ages hardcore show last night were treated to the arrival of local straight edge punk Brett Williams, riding…
BOSTON — Four devout straight edge kids kept with tradition yesterday and left a seat open for Minor Threat frontman Ian MacKaye during their annual…
LOS ANGELES — President of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige revealed today that the first episode of the upcoming Disney+ show What If…? will explore an…
LOS ANGELES — Have Heart were forced to play within the cramped quarters of the drum riser because of roughly 9,000 “of their closest friends”…
BOSTON — Hundreds of new straight edge recruits received their standard issue black sheep tattoos this morning in a traditional Edge Day celebration, witnesses confirmed.…
PASADENA, Calif. — Straight edge parents Mike and Joy Harmon were ecstatic to learn that their newborn daughter, MacKaye, was born with three X chromosomes,…
PHOENIX — Vegan straight edge band Force of Nature are breaking new ground in hardcore with Stand Tall, their newest album, exploring wide-ranging topics like…