Kyle Stanley
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It’s the same old story every holiday season: You build a snowman, affix an old silk hat in which there…
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Mark Bouchard
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I’ve recently become single. During a pandemic. I’ll confirm what I’m sure you already know: it blows. If you’d like…
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Lately, it feels like all my friends and family judge me for dating in quarantine. They take it as a…
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Bobby Korec
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MINNEAPOLIS — ‘90s alternative music darlings Marcy Playground revealed yesterday that their hit song “Sex and Candy” was more specifically…
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Lauren Lavín
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SOUTHBURY, Conn. — Local urban legend The Southbury Slasher could not complete his annual killing spree last week when his…
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Kaitlyn Jeffers
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NAPA, Calif. — Local woman Amanda Perez believes that, for the first time in her life, she most likely has…
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John Danek
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There was once a man who dreamed of a more perfect humanity, a day when everyone would be considered equally…
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Kaitlyn Jeffers
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I am a devout, lifelong anarchist. I was marching for squatters rights when you were getting cut from your fucking…
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Dom Turek
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NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and…
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Patrick Coyne
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CARBONDALE, Ill. — Tired wife Ruby McDermott was reportedly “not in the mood” for sexual activity this evening, instead asking…
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