Sex Tag Archives - Page 21

Opinion: Two Hot People Having a Kid Together Is Eugenics

John Danek • November 24, 2020

There was once a man who dreamed of a more perfect humanity, a day when everyone would be considered equally…

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Being Horny for Gavin Newsom Doesn’t Make Me Less of an Anarchist

Kaitlyn Jeffers • November 14, 2020

I am a devout, lifelong anarchist. I was marching for squatters rights when you were getting cut from your fucking…

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dildo, pink, Cheetos, weed, bowl, orange, blue, white, vibrator

New Hyper Realistic Dildo Can’t Stay Hard and Smokes All Your Weed

Dom Turek • November 11, 2020

NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and…

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white, naked, red head, blonde, nipple, sex, lick, bed, sheets, covers

Tired Woman Wondering if Husband Would Mind Just Licking Her Neck, Back Tonight

Patrick Coyne • October 28, 2020

CARBONDALE, Ill. — Tired wife Ruby McDermott was reportedly “not in the mood” for sexual activity this evening, instead asking…

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Opinion: I’m Whichever Gender Gets Me the Most Poon Tang

Freelancer • October 23, 2020

It’s not my job to educate you. It’s your job to stop being ignorant. I understand that it’s easier for…

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cannibal corpse, virgin, sex, hurt, pain, gore, kill, disturbing, blood, guts

Virgin Hopes Sex Isn’t How It’s Described in Cannibal Corpse Song

Nick Ortolani • October 21, 2020

PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described…

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Sex Paused to Flip Record

James Webster • October 14, 2020

SEATTLE — A passionate bout of intercourse between local couple Robert Levin and Andrea MacNeil was put on hold this…

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Speedrunner Doesn’t Believe Girlfriend’s Tool-Assisted Orgasm Valid

Dave Cross • October 11, 2020

SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing…

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Pornstar Gets “Step Mom” Tattoo

Daniel Menegaz • October 11, 2020

SIMI VALLEY, Calif. — Up-and-coming male pornstar Dixon Nixon was seen online early Friday morning flashing a brand new flash…

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An Open Letter To the Developers of That Video Game Who Promised I Wouldn’t Last More Than 2 Minutes Before Busting

Dan Rice • September 30, 2020

Dear Smut Developers, I am writing in regards to an ad for your product that I saw while trying to…

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