HOUSTON — Tragedy nearly stuck at a nearby Long John Silver’s last Sunday when no concerned patrons or workers felt comfortable administering CPR on choking…
HAMBURG, N.Y. — Pop-punk powerhouse Iron Chic shouted their entire five-person fast food order in unison at a local Tim Hortons drive-thru Saturday morning, frustrated…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A study completed last week at the University of California-Davis found that the next song “…goes a little something like this,” researchers…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Senior VICE editor Archie Jenkins sprinted from his office in Williamsburg yesterday after remembering he coerced a freelance reporter into infiltrating a…
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local band Leatherfist had to look up their own Wikipedia entry this week to confirm who was actually a current member…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local dad Carl Coleman threw caution to the wind last night and mimicked an electric guitar solo with his pool cue during…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Geoff Kaplan was overly critical and harsh this afternoon while discussing astrology stereotypes with friends, sources close to the obvious…
NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Sarah Moreno was seen scouring the crowd at a show last night for her blind date, a “white guy in…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Members of the Spokane DIY punk scene are reluctantly preparing to help local women who will lose access to vital healthcare services,…
Dear Scabby: I currently have crushes on two coworkers. What should I do? -PROFESSIONALLY TORN IN PITTSBURGH Dear Professionally Torn in Pittsburgh: First off, I’d…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary horror rocker and Misfits frontman Glenn Danzig is already mentally spending the annual bump in royalties he expects to receive from…
PHOENIX — An “A.C.A.B.” knuckle tattoo reminded recovering amnesiac Marcus Spence last night exactly how he feels about law enforcement officials, following an encounter with…
DENVER — Local man Myron Brewer’s usual self-deprecating remarks are increasingly becoming uncomfortably accurate, visibly uneasy friends report. “He’s always been pretty down on himself,…
CLEVELAND, Miss. — Local hardcore guy and “fucking wild man” Rodney O’Dell is reportedly having the best night of his life, watching one of his…
LOS ANGELES — Black Flag founder and guitarist Greg Ginn is legally entitled to all proprietary materials related to the iconic punk band he started,…