Loyal Rat Refuses to Leave Fallen Punk’s Grave
SEAFORD, Del. — Townspeople have taken notice of a feral rat who is now on day seven grieving a transient…
Read More →
Johnny Mo
15 stories found
Phoebe Bridgers Releases Touching Cover of Your Grandmother’s Last Words
LOS ANGELES — Indie powerhouse Phoebe Bridgers surprised fans yesterday by uploading a somber rendition of your grandmother's most private…
Read More →
Date Canceled Due to Low Attendance
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Quarantined suitor Gabe Dawson canceled his highly anticipated Zoom date with “hot barista Dylan” last night…
Read More →
Tinder Date’s Penis Looks Nothing Like Unsolicited Dick Pic
GLENDALE, Calif. — Fraud victim Megan Howard made an emergency exit through her date’s bathroom window last night after an…
Read More →
Mitski Announces Plans to Place Merch Table In Your Therapist’s Office
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Recording artist Mitski announced today that her merchandise will now be available for sale at mental health…
Read More →
Only Black Kid in Class Pulling Overtime as Only Black Kid at Show
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — High school sophomore Michelle Johnston was hospitalized for exhaustion last night after leaving a full day…
Read More →
Bar Dress Code Prohibits Jeans, Jerseys, and Sickle Cells
BOSTON — Owners of popular local bar Toolie’s are under heavy scrutiny today after unveiling a dress code slammed as…
Read More →
Drug Dealer’s Earlier Stuff Way Better
BOISE, Idaho — Self-proclaimed “Ted Head” and loyal trap house patron Dustin Ward spent last Monday afternoon reminiscing about the…
Read More →
Artificially Intelligent LANDR Least Awkward Member of Band
MARFA, Texas — Automated mastering software LANDR led a meet-and-greet today for teenage pop-punk trio VVhat after all three members…
Read More →
95-Minute Sex Playlist About 90 Minutes Too Long
SAN DIEGO — Local man and semi-frequent sex-haver Taylor Durham edited his 95-minute long playlist “Poon Tunez” yesterday while reluctantly…
Read More →