There are so many things to hate about this entitled millennial generation, but nothing scorches my sky more than their addiction to technology. These ungrateful…
TUCSON, Ariz. — 30-year-old Joann Kim suffered a three-day hangover after walking by the liquor aisle at her local grocery store, solemn sources confirmed. “I…
DENVER — Kinky suburban couple James and Emily DeSantis took to their Nextdoor App late Saturday night to ask if any of their soon-to-be neighbors…
BERLIN — Late nineties pop sensation Lou Bega excited fans this week when he implied that a follow-up to his widely celebrated “Mambo No. 5”…
Elder abuse is a serious, often unrecognized crisis affecting some of our most vulnerable citizens. Me, in particular. Don’t believe me? Well, just head on…
SEATTLE — Overambitious elder millennial Janine Angler was released from the hospital yesterday and is expected to make a full recovery after standing at the…
First of all, I don’t want this to come across as bragging. But for me, personally, becoming a TV owner under 30 was an investment…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new report from The Institute of Nostalgia Studies found evidence that the classic ‘90s “X-Men” animated series doesn’t have the same…
LOS ANGELES — Former precocious one-year-old and current convicted felon on parole Tommy Pickles, now 31, allegedly muttered to himself “a baby’s gotta do what…
Millennials have been deemed the lazy and entitled generation, but there are a few exceptions. Sure, most of us are still living in our parent’s…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local 20-somethings Ashton Knoll and Kevin Stohl were approved yesterday for a second mortgage on their fiddle leaf fig tree, which the…
LOS ANGELES — An alleged serial killer and millennial is taunting LAPD and terrorizing the city through a series of deranged, emoji-laden letters, angry and…
WARREN, Mich. — Millennial Jamie Thorpe suffered a retail-induced panic attack yesterday after hearing several beloved bands from her youth as background music at a…
PHILADELPHIA — Local millennial Lauren Toole and her live-in boyfriend Nick McIntyre are making an effort to not argue in front of their new houseplant…
HYATTSVILLE, Md. — Local Millennial Dave Simmons, flipping through channels in the wee hours during a visit to his parents’ house, wistfully recalled today the…