Matt McInerney
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DETROIT — Local metalhead, 36-year-old Denny Brokum, is reportedly willing to admit that he hasn’t heard of the band Scatological…
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Cory Cousins
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ALTOONA, Pa. — Local metal band, Reluctant Cannibal, announced they will exclusively perform at venues that mandate the donning of…
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John Danek
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CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Metalhead Tyler Cobb was the only patron to behave with respect and civility at airport bar Buster’s,…
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Ramona Apthorp
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AGOURA HILLS, Calif. — Local nü-metal band Hog Washer can’t decide which of the countless butthole puns they thought of…
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Chuck Kowalski
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PITTSBURGH — Local attorney and hair metal fanatic Rourke Caldwell asked a jury this morning to consider the “landmark case…
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James Knapp
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TAMPA, Fla. — Ronnie “The Neck” Garefino, the virtuoso guitarist for the speed metal band Fisting Frankenstein, is admittedly “totally…
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Yancy Lee Crawford
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CHICAGO — Local metalhead Seth Drury’s insistence on wearing a well-worn jean jacket as his primary source of warmth and…
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Zac Lux
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BROOKLYN — Local stoner metalhead Graham Wyatt overslept this morning after a night of drinking and weed smoking, which caused…
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John Dixon
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SOUTH BEND, Ind. — A Biohazard patch on local metalhead Barret Boone’s denim jacket is reportedly becoming less of an…
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Bobby Korec
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CLEVELAND — Local metalhead and father Bruce Howardt could not teach his son the simple basics of shaving yesterday due…
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