VANCOUVER, Wash. — Local neo-fascist Greg Pough retired as an active member of the Proud Boys today following a three-second embrace with his father that…
I’m not a religious person or anything, but in some ways I guess I’m just old fashioned. This may not be a popular opinion and…
WILMINGTON, N.C. — Hallmark Channel’s signature Christmas-themed romance movies reportedly promote an unhealthy expectation of any kind of human interaction, according to a new study…
NAPA, Calif. — Local woman Amanda Perez believes that, for the first time in her life, she most likely has a decent shot with actor…
DENVER — Local man Cory McCann is ready to settle down and meet “the one” person he’ll spend the rest of the year with, or…
UMTANUM, Wash. — Local single man Cameron Barrett admitted today that he’s been patiently waiting for his high school crush to get divorced so he…
DENVER — Your boyfriend of two years claimed yesterday, in a “totally gross” and “most definitely insincere” showering of affection, that he loves you and…
SEATTLE — A passionate bout of intercourse between local couple Robert Levin and Andrea MacNeil was put on hold this afternoon to flip a record…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Those invited to celebrate the marriage of punk drummer Scotty Corless and slaughterhouse foreman Anna “Slander” Dietrich are reportedly not bothering to…
WATERLOO, Iowa — A local couple’s relationship elevated to the next level yesterday after boyfriend Logan Carpenter featured a photo of his girlfriend Naima Alford…
WASHINGTON — A broken and sobbing Eric Trump choked down a seventh consecutive can of Goya beans this morning after a week of publicly binging…
DULUTH, Minn. — Local couple Alice Parker and Shaun McCoy announced the reunification of their relationship today, after having already broken up and reconciled twice…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local straight edge man Matt Parrish reportedly thinks that his girlfriend of eight months is only interested in him for his clean,…
BEL AIR, Md. — Philidelphia transplant and Grindr user Brian Walsh was reunited with his estranged father Dale yesterday after the two inadvertently contacted each…
KOKOMO, Ind. — Straight-faced local man Philip Fleming, who has never received or given a hug in his life, wondered today why society needs a…