DENVER — Local man Cory McCann is ready to settle down and meet “the one” person he’ll spend the rest of the year with, or…
UMTANUM, Wash. — Local single man Cameron Barrett admitted today that he’s been patiently waiting for his high school crush to get divorced so he…
DENVER — Your boyfriend of two years claimed yesterday, in a “totally gross” and “most definitely insincere” showering of affection, that he loves you and…
SEATTLE — A passionate bout of intercourse between local couple Robert Levin and Andrea MacNeil was put on hold this afternoon to flip a record…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Those invited to celebrate the marriage of punk drummer Scotty Corless and slaughterhouse foreman Anna “Slander” Dietrich are reportedly not bothering to…
WATERLOO, Iowa — A local couple’s relationship elevated to the next level yesterday after boyfriend Logan Carpenter featured a photo of his girlfriend Naima Alford…
WASHINGTON — A broken and sobbing Eric Trump choked down a seventh consecutive can of Goya beans this morning after a week of publicly binging…
DULUTH, Minn. — Local couple Alice Parker and Shaun McCoy announced the reunification of their relationship today, after having already broken up and reconciled twice…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local straight edge man Matt Parrish reportedly thinks that his girlfriend of eight months is only interested in him for his clean,…
BEL AIR, Md. — Philidelphia transplant and Grindr user Brian Walsh was reunited with his estranged father Dale yesterday after the two inadvertently contacted each…
KOKOMO, Ind. — Straight-faced local man Philip Fleming, who has never received or given a hug in his life, wondered today why society needs a…
TORONTO — 29-year-old Jazmyn Elliot thought she was falling in love yesterday until she realized she was instead aroused simply from needing to urinate, according…
DETROIT — Married couple Jason and Holly Erickson spent their fifth anniversary dinner on Saturday night savagely roasting an “atrocious” couple at a nearby table,…
Since the dawn of time, humans have asked one question. Wait, ok two questions. One — how do I get food? And, two — how…
BAR HARBOR, Maine — Local teenager Russ Mitchell, Jr. was uncomfortable and unsure where to direct his gaze yesterday after hearing his father say, “I…