Kill Tag Archives - Page 2

D.A.R.E. Officer Demoted After Class Ends Without Him Killing Single Teenager

Contributor • December 19, 2021

EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local police officer James Kehoe was stripped of his Sergeant rank after his two semesters of D.A.R.E.…

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Tesla Unveils Self-Driving Dragula That Autonomously Digs Through Ditches and Burns Through Witches

Bobby Korec • November 5, 2021

PALO ALTO, Calif. — Tesla recently revealed the prototype for their new self-driving Dragula that can independently dig through ditches…

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Second Responders Unable to Save Victim of Police Standoff

James Howe • October 30, 2021

PINOLE, Calif. — Emergency Medical responders arrived at the site of a psychiatric distress call late Wednesday to find Sheriff's…

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Nardwuar Surprises Artist with Knife In Between Their Third and Fourth Ribs

Camden Brazile • October 20, 2021

VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Popular internet personality and self-described “human serviette” Nardwuar shocked artist Josh Augustin of the indie band…

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MacGyver Makes It Through Saw Film Completely Unharmed

Stephen Bell • October 5, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Handsome super secret agent Angus “Mac” MacGyver easily thwarted a series of overly elaborate and ironic death…

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I Am the Chainsaw Wielding Skin-Mask Guy of a Cannibalistic Murder Family. Here’s Why I Voted for Biden

Dan Rice • October 4, 2021

It’s the same routine every morning. I wake up, do some light stretches, and check to see that the people…

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Police Department Wins Emmy for Best Editing

Ken Taro • September 19, 2021

LOS ANGELES — A relatively obscure film from the Indianapolis Police Department titled “Officer William Jameson’s Body Camera Footage 3/19/21”…

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It’s Not the Breed, It’s the Owner, and as Someone Who Trains Corgis To Fight, I Would Know

Eli Johnson • September 19, 2021

Dog breed discrimination has to stop. By the way people talk about pit bulls, you’d think the breed is some…

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Real Life Freddy Krueger? This Janitor Just Got His Ass Kicked by Some Teens

Nathan Kamal • September 15, 2021

Did we just discover a real life Freddy Krueger? This high school janitor from Springwood, Ohio totally got his ass…

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5 Perfect Charcuterie Boards That Will Help You Forget That You and Your Friends Killed a Hitchhiker That Summer

Vince Ratti • July 13, 2021

Charcuterie boards have certainly had a surge in popularity lately, and it’s easy to see why! The mouthwatering variety of…

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