Kill Tag Archives - Page 4

James Mahoney • September 17, 2020

CHICAGO — Local anarcho-punk Noah Wallin claimed today that he is prepared to take the lives of Scottish indie-rock band…

Billy Patterson • August 7, 2020

PHILADELPHIA — Local bassist Aaron Scherzinger realized today that he only needs to murder two or three of his bandmates…

Jeremy Kaplowitz • July 12, 2020

NEW YORK — NYPD officer Martin Stuart heroically paused earlier today to reflect that chokeholds are now an illegal use…

Caroline Smith • June 9, 2020

WASHINGTON — In an effort to bring jobs back home to the U.S., President Trump ordered soldiers enlisted in the…

The Hard Times Staff • May 3, 2019

EL PASO, Texas — Local musician Lenny Windsor was sentenced to two consecutive life sentences today for his part in…

Kyle Erf • August 22, 2018

CLEVELAND — Showgoer Timothy Boyce has become trapped in a mosh pit after his panicked flailing and aggressive shouting were…

Ashley Naftule • November 22, 2017

WASHINGTON — President Trump pardoned a 5-year old Bourbon Red turkey named Mikey this morning, sparking outrage amongst law enforcement…

Freelancer • March 17, 2017

PHILADELPHIA — Local coreman Alex Gonzalez was struck down by a hail of fists in a brutal crowdkilling incident at…

The Hard Times Staff • August 8, 2016

PHILADELPHIA -- Following his criticism last week of political correctness in what he referred to as the “pussy generation,” Clint…

Sari Beliak • June 12, 2016

GAINESVILLE, FL - Summertime is all about easy, effortless style. With temperatures rising, now is the perfect time to update…

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