SAN FRANCISCO — A crudely made oil and watercolor painting on the wall of Revelry Coffee Roasters has a reported sale price of $750 fucking…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local punk Brittany Metz stopped dead in her tracks in front of a Gap store earlier today upon seeing a display of…
BOSTON — Time traveler and anti-robot resistance leader Trent Mendez, sent from the future to warn humanity about an impending artificial intelligence uprising, was dismissed…
WASHINGTON — Tickets and merchandise for the joint Def Leppard/Journey tour will be completely covered by Medicare, according to a statement released today by the federal…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Cool it, Aries. Just because you watched Childish Gambino’s “This Is America” once doesn’t mean anyone gives a shit about the…
SAN ANTONIO — Aspiring musician Josh Sánchez’s trusty Jim Dunlop guitar pick is reportedly securely lodged in an auxiliary compartment of his wallet “just in…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Legendary MC Busta Rhymes surprised the hip-hop community this morning by dropping a sternly worded lecture on his son 10-year old son…
ATLANTA — Netflix subscriber Christina Hyeon’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt marathon was interrupted last night by a message announcing that the service “doesn’t give a fuck…
NEW YORK — Local crust punk Phil “Rat Face” Howland took creative measures last week to turn his uneven beard into a stronger representation of…
MANSFIELD, Mass. — The wildly popular metalcore band PussyHead warmed up the crowd at the Xfinity Center in Mansfield, Mass. last Monday night by asking…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The Progressive Rock Defense League demanded earlier today that the Walt Disney Company feature a princess actively engaging in fandom of famed…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Feel free to take a mental health break today, Aries: you need it after all the mind games you’ve…
TEMPE, Ariz. — A badly scratched copy of The Offspring’s 1998 studio album Americana was rejected for trade-in by the staff of Zeta Records &…
PHILADELPHIA — Heavily tattooed barber Rob Moreno was reportedly “stoked” Saturday morning to give everyone the same style undercut at Brush & Steel, his trendy…
PHILADELPHIA — Members of a local DIY punk scene were stunned to learn last week that a small portion of their West Philadelphia community recently…