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RBG Doesn’t Expect This to Affect Judicial Duties

WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg is determined to continue fulfilling her judicial duties despite her untimely death earlier today, according to sources desperately trying to keep it together.

“I have often said I would remain a member of the Court as long as I can do the job full steam and I don’t see any reason why this should hinder my ability to effectively perform my duties,” Bader Ginsburg stated upon ascending into Heaven. “Now that I’m free of that God Awful flesh prison, I feel more energized than ever.”

“Colon cancer, gall stones, fractured ribs, nodules on my damn lungs… none of that stuff could stop me, and if you think a little thing like leaving this mortal realm will, you clearly don’t know who you’re dealing with,” she added.

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