I Have a Medical Exemption for Your ‘No Shirt, No Shoes’ Rule Too
Umm, actually, no, you can't kick me out of this Wawa. My doctor said I can be in here. This…
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Nariko Ott
12 stories found
QUIZ: Pantera Lyric or Some Bullshit a Cop Said After He Took Your Skateboard
“Walk on home, boy.” We’ve all been there, you’re having a fun session on a 5-stair with your buddies when…
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We Rank the Top 15 Pounds We’ve Gained in 2020
No one is crushing it in quarantine. Well, except ultra-rich people who are positioned perfectly for thriving in this environment.…
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Top 5 Projects in 2020 You Wish You Had Finished Even Though You Had Literally Had All the Time in the Fucking World
We’ve all been there. Feeling stuck at your job; maybe staring at your dumbass kid. Dreaming of the day when…
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Aging Dashboard Confessional Fan Finds His Hair Everywhere
LOS ANGELES — 35-year-old self-described “Dashboard Confessional superfan” David Calva awoke today to find his male-pattern baldness went into overdrive,…
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GOP Setting Up Fake States to Confuse Voters
WASHINGTON — Republicans across the country are drawing up new state maps in a desperate attempt to confuse voters and…
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Opinion: You Can’t Get in the Pit & Try To Love Someone Until You Get in the Pit and Learn To Love Yourself
Hey bros. We all know it's okay to get out there in the pit and kick some ass. But some…
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Why Do I Keep Matching on Tinder With the Hitchhiker I Hit With My Car Years Ago?
Okay, this is going to sound bad or whatever but like, 2 years ago I was driving through rural Oregon…
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AR-15 Starts Onlyfans, Bankrupts Midwest
DES MOINES, Iowa — An AR-15 semi-automatic rifle started an OnlyFans page for itself last week, the overwhelming popularity of…
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Singer Saving Perfect Band Name Until He Meets the Right Guys
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local punk frontman Dylan Fremont revealed today that he was waiting to “meet the right guys” before…
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