BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Local dad and lifelong jock Patrick Bruckheimer is forcing his home-schooled teenage son to take showers upstairs with the rest of the…
PHILADELPHIA — Local Irish-themed punk rock band The Drunken Fighting Lads are being suspiciously protective of the ethnic background results they received in a recent…
DENVER — Local man Matti Mukdam was found dead in his apartment last week, one day after his 30th birthday, as a result of standing…
WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man and guy who “maybe enjoys an occasional drink, no big deal” Dennis Walsh realized yesterday that alcoholism is the only…
LOS ANGELES — Restaurant chain Olive Garden has teamed up with the Fast & Furious franchise to promote the importance of “family” as a concept.…
In the United States pornography is bigger that the music industry. At a collective 12 billion dollars per year and growing pornographers have more power…
CHEEKTOWAGA, N.Y. — Local dad Steven Vuong interrupted a heartfelt conversation early yesterday evening to let family members know he liked a commercial that was…
DENVER — Local woman Stephanie Robbins admitted today she now wishes she hadn’t already used the “deadly pandemic” excuse to get out of last year’s…
Stay home, everybody! Please limit this year’s Thanksgiving celebration to include only the people you live with. Larger gatherings could have potentially fatal consequences, especially…
ROSEDALE, Miss. — Local punk Kerry Gagne is stuck with several loads of unwashed laundry that she was planning to wash at her parents’ home…
If I raise my own children, am I not enabling a patriarchal society upon their impressionable minds? Children are our future, and they need to…
OLIVETTE, Mo. — Siblings Freddy and Kevin Rosario have separately come to the unfortunate conclusion that quoting a “Plimpton Auto” ad from 2000 is the…
HANOVER, Pa. — Local Nazi, Kyle Rumbley, is unsure how to tell his family he voted for Joe Biden after Pennsylvania flipped blue, ultimately securing…
BOSTON — Recently deceased grandmother Anita Reilly’s bereaved found yesterday a trove of family recipes, including one for a beloved, secret family soup that was…
GHENT, N.Y. — Beloved family Golden Retriever, Pretzel, was sent to an expansive 80-acre upstate farm earlier this week where she was summarily executed via…