You’re probably wondering why I’m fishing out on the floor foaming at the mouth and ranting in tongues. I assure you, everything is fine. Today…
WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man Bryan Walsh is terrified and “jumping to insane conclusions” this morning after his father, commercial electrician Murray Walsh, cryptically said…
[Ed note: Leaving the Iggy Pop obit in the draft folder. Great idea to get this written up ahead of time. I mean, have you…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — The unveiling of recently deceased Gerald Duncan’s will has revealed that his entire Steam backlog will be left in the care of…
MADRID — Valeria Lopez, the oldest millennial in the world, died late last night at the age of 39 following complications from a recent surgery,…
A politician dropped dead in Des Moines Iowa Sunday night, delivering an entire community all of the feels. This feel-good story started the day after…
JERUSALEM — Local punk and Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is reportedly running “an hour late, 90 minutes tops, bro” to rise at his own…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local woman Estelle Gladstone survived another night in her battle with cancer yesterday, therefore completely blowing the perfect memorial tattoo idea her…
DISTANT PLANET — At this week’s mass funeral of some 614 Pikmin, Captain Olimar of the Hocotate Freight Corporation came to the saddening realization that…
SARGENT’S PURCHASE, N.H. — Local punk rocker and first-time mountain climber Danny Trumble died tragically yesterday after using his carabiner keychain for climbing purposes, devastated…
So there I was, taking the shortcut home from work. Normally I take the long way home, but tonight I was working late and feeling…
Fuck God. I never thought I would think those words let alone say them, I’ve been to church every Sunday since I was 8 years…
For the last 3 months of his life I was the primary caretaker to George H.W. Bush.I do not claim to have really known him.…
Stan Lee tragically passed today at the age of 95. He leaves behind as rich a legacy as anyone will this century, having done no…
SAN FRANCISCO — The “death” section of the Wikipedia page for punk legend Benny Core is far longer than any other category documenting the musician’s…