PRESCOTT, Ariz. — FBI Agent Dan Trolley defused a tense standoff with local police over the jurisdiction of a crime scene with a well-timed racist…
LOS ANGELES — Self-proclaimed activist Jane Lipton is in hot water with her community today after calling the cops on an unhoused neighbor for their…
You bring the stuff? Sweet. These are authentic JNCO jeans, right? The ones from the late ’90s?I don’t want none of this watered-down, kinda-baggy-leg bullshit.…
“Walk on home, boy.” We’ve all been there, you’re having a fun session on a 5-stair with your buddies when along comes some 300 pound…
WASHINGTON — A touching tale unfolded this afternoon during the “Stop The Steal” rally as a local police officer and a MAGA supporter united after…
I hate authority. From cops to judges to teachers to politicians, I flat out refuse to partake in bootlicking of any form. This tongue will…
There’s been a lot of talk about police abolition this year and while there have been a lot of well-articulated cases for it, I’m still…
Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused from the rule that all…
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — Police detained NASA astronaut Charles Washington today as he boarded the Orion V spacecraft during launch preparations, demanding to know if…
All you pink-haired, piercing-filled, vegan terrorist thugs think being a police officer is just sooooooo easy. You assume it’s all donuts and service medals for…
SIOUX CITY, Iowa. — Local man Derrick Carney was mercilessly beaten within an inch of his life last night not long after learning that police…
SEATTLE — Seattle Police Lieutenant Chuck Haines is beginning to worry that his dealer may be tampering with his cocaine, following a rash of well-publicized…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision announced that the next game in the Call of Duty franchise, Call of Duty: Uprising, will take place in the…
I’ve heard a lot of my fellow Americans question the moral compass and general decency of the fine men and women who serve in our…
ANGEL GROVE, Calif. — Despite receiving absolutely no training of any kind, the adolescent vigilante group “Power Rangers” were reportedly handed blasters and keys to…