NASHVILLE — Legendary guitar manufacturer Gibson Brands, Inc. announced an incredibly weighty successor to its famous Les Paul guitar, monikered the More Paul, sources who…
TAMPA, Fla. — Death metal veterans Cannibal Corpse have launched a signature line of embalming fluids called “Cadaverous Conservation” in a move to supplement their…
KEENE, N.H. — Local crystal healer and tarot card reader Elizabeth Stuart plans to donate her body to pseudoscience upon her passing, friends and spiritual…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Traveling gutter punk-turned inspirational teacher Marcus “Guru Hoagie” Sanders is directing followers worldwide to treat their bodies as if they were a…
NEW YORK — Local punk and scene veteran Ruby St. John’s mammary glands were diagnosed with CTE today after sustaining her 17,000th elbow shot during…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Rotund drummer Mike Crenshaw overcame the insecurities associated with his body by leaving his shirt on during a recent set at a…
MONTREAL — Gildan CEO Glenn Chamandy left many people feeling vindicated today, admitting in a press conference that he has never once seen an actual…
LANDSDALE, Pa. — A guitar in the care of local musician Andrew Sampson is treated with more respect and dignity than Sampson’s own body, multiple…
LOS ANGELES — Foo Fighters fans expecting to see the group’s individual members play a concert last night were instead greeted by a single, formless,…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Roommates at punk/party house the Snake Pit are reportedly growing alarmed by the complete lack of water intake by fellow resident…
DENVER — Local all-around garbage human Russ Mitchell was totally grossed out by a female musician’s armpit hair during a show on Tuesday night, according…