CHICAGO — Tattooed members of touring hardcore band Sin Eater are reportedly tired of fielding questions as to whether or not they are chefs every…
ATLANTA — Local drummer Drew Mooney plans to sit around and just go fuck himself for the next few weeks as other members of his…
PHILADELPHIA — Local woman Juliana Azzara passed the four hours waiting for her train last night by asking a man at a nearby dive bar…
RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the disbanded hardcore group Surge Protector reunited in secret last night to discuss ending their retirement to make one last…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Rot Snockets tour manager Benjamin Underhall was fired today following his indictment on charges he withheld significant amounts of the bands’ drink…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Irritated neighbors of yours confirm you fully lost your shit early this morning when you discovered the indie-rock band Los Combustibles while…
DUXBURY, Mass. — Members of suburban punk band Trash Pirates shocked the underground music world by openly thanking their parents’ money in the liner notes…
MARFA, Texas — Automated mastering software LANDR led a meet-and-greet today for teenage pop-punk trio VVhat after all three members simultaneously suffered panic attacks when…
MINNEAPOLIS — Guitarist Bradley Eflin claimed last night that he was “going out for smokes” before allegedly abandoning his band of 12 years to pursue…
DAVENPORT, Iowa — A group of four white men found yesterday standing in an empty field outside of Davenport are, in fact, not in a…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local dog and punk house resident Haley stared hopefully at the side of a stage last night after touring band Rage Party finished…
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — The singer and one guitarist of punk octet TetrisTetris surprised the other six members of their band yesterday that a new record,…
STAUNTON, Va. — Members of local band Schrödinger’s Wëasel are reportedly questioning bassist Wade Carr’s supposed graphic design experience, which appears limited to creating stick…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local five-piece outfit Brain Pollution have completed their successful transition from forgettable hardcore act into atrocious metal band, disappointing unsuspecting fans throughout…
ATLANTA — Bassist Adam Frost has joined local metal outfit Niceguy Genocide in a lucrative, two-year deal worth an estimated $100, Frost’s management team confirmed…