PITTSBURGH — Grindcore band Visceral Womb will embark on a two-day, 50 city-tour in support of their new 65-song LP Biological Excrement Afterbirth, sources confirmed…
Thanks to the internet, consumers around the country are discovering the joy of ordering secret menu items: delicious fast food offerings not officially on the…
MADISON, Wisc. — Local polyamorous, gender-fluid teen Brendan McDaniels is frantically searching for the most respectful way to lose their virginity this year, sources close…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — 25-year-old Kyle Booth suspects that his new punk friends only like him for his basement, now that he’s befriended a local hardcore…
It was 2012 and the Sacramento digital hardcore noise rap group Death Grips had just released their underground hit album, No Love Deep Web, which…
AUSTIN, Texas — Researchers at the University of Texas – Austin have completed a study that made some interesting discoveries about itself, according to a…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Friends of local man Jeremy Torres are unsure if his new girlfriend Laura Kelly is incredibly laid back or in desperate need…
KATONAH, N.Y. — After an incredible, fantastical journey searching for the correct venue of a secret show, local man Randy Brower found it was actually…
Hat’s off to Mark Zuckerburg, that man has done it again! Programmers and developers at Facebook Inc. are in the process of developing a Facebook…
NEW ORLEANS — Jerry Nichols, the enthusiastic and supportive father of drummer Chris Nichols, is incessantly emailing his son band name suggestions as they come…
SEATTLE — Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos announced his plans today to “personally beat the shit out of small business owners across the country”…
An open letter to my son: Dear Leslie (although I guess you are going by ‘Slime’ now), I wanted to take this opportunity to let…
LIMA, Peru — A team of archaeologists in the jungles of Peru made a groundbreaking discovery yesterday, unearthing the long-lost “Mambos No. 1-4” prequel tapes…
It’s cute, really, but I’m just not sure about her dedication to this relationship if she’s not even going to learn what she’s talking about.…
HOLLAND, Mich. — Your 14-year-old cousin Blake Liston admitted to you yesterday that, as of two weeks ago, he smokes pot and it is “totally…