As the singer and frontman for a moderately successful local pop punk band I’d like to dispel the damaging rumors that all pop punk vocalists…
BALDWIN, N.Y. — Eric Goldstein’s bar mitzvah celebration on Saturday was ruined by his older cousin Chris Meyers, who crowd-killed and moshed throughout the sacred…
Comrades, the time is nigh! In socialist circles everywhere (mainly Twitter and Reddit) there have been whispers of the final signs of capitalism’s impending collapse-…
MORGANTOWN, W. Va. — Local woman Elle Bautista politely feigned interest moments ago after brunch date Cris Zahn revealed that she “had the fucking craziest…
NEW YORK — Renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson publicly challenged the science behind the name of rock band 30 Seconds to Mars on Sunday night…
Having a calm, well-rounded discussion on the issues is getting more and more difficult every day. While it may be tough to see across the…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local grandfather Peter Cruz received a lesson in do-it-yourself ethics last night from his grandson, who explained basic DIY principles while inside…
DES MOINES, Iowa — A group of young mystery solvers and their plucky pet dog stripped alternative-metal band Slipknot of their trademark masks last week…
CHESTERFIELD, Va — Local actor and improvisor James Elijah announced on Tuesday that he will delay a move to follow his dreams in Los Angeles…
This is an open letter to our teenage son, We get it… you smoke weed. And we wanted to tell you, with all our heart…
EVANSVILLE, Ind. — Local delivery driver Mitchell Jenkins derailed a casual marijuana session on Thursday night after hitting a communal bowl with what witnesses called…
The hubris of mankind has always been it’s downfall, and scientists working with the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago have been the latest to learn this…
PLANO, Texas — Aging punk Jordie Farmer reportedly shaved down the sides of his back last night, creating a full torso extension of the mohawk…
Louis CK has returned to the stage and the internet is predictably ablaze. Rather than participate in the spectacle with a click grabbing hot take…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local man Jackson Green was busted early yesterday morning reading Sum 41’s Wikipedia page when his roommate walked in on him exploring…