Attention concerned family members, co workers, friends and well intentioned acquaintances: You may stand down. Yes, I know it is “suspicious” that the woman I…
BALTIMORE — Local punks are reportedly confused and intrigued by a cryptic show flyer circulating that features an image of Ronald Reagan having sex with…
King Crimson’s incendiary debut turns 50 this year, so some of the Hard Times’ most dedicated and ruthlessly mocked progressive rock fans got together to…
TOLEDO, Ohio — 28-year-old Sammy Warner was shocked last week when attending her 10-year high school reunion by how much her former classmates have aged,…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Senator Bernie Sanders surprised his rabid fanbase today with an announcement that he would play his classic 2016 presidential campaign in its…
TOPEKA, Kan. — Local punk Ryan Brewer was doomed Thursday night to wander the earth as a merch guy until he can find a replacement…
So here I am at yet another gathering of my closest friends and family. It seems like we gather almost every month to talk about,…
ROUND ROCK, Texas — Interactive storytelling fans were disappointed this week by a new choose-your-own-adventure novel that promised the opportunity to see through the eyes…
For years, it seemed like most bands comprised a bunch of straight, white, cisgendered men. Boriiiiiiing! In 2019, we’re starting to break away from that…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A recent study by a research group of hardcore frontmen found that the pain of childbirth is almost as bad as the…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local punks Simone Marek and Kris Hagen announced today that they have secured “A” round funding to launch TatWell, a startup…
ATLANTA — Local metal guy and Violet Wonder guitarist Jeff Glover is “fucking terrible” at pleasuring women with his hands despite his well-known abilities to…
Nearly 2 weeks after Maroon 5’s infamously bad Pepsi Super Bowl Halftime Show performance and they are still the butt of the internet’s joke. Meme’s…
FLUSHING, N.Y. — A Valentine’s Day dinner shared by post-hardcore couple Jeff Casey and Allie Morgan escalated into an all-out screaming argument before suddenly breaking…
Dear Scabby: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now and he’s wondering why I won’t introduce him to my parents.…