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5 Mind-Blowing Life Hacks That All Pretty Much Boil Down to “Have Rich Parents”

What can we do to be truly, wholy “happy?” In my long, arduous 22-year existence, I have found that these 5 mind-blowing life hacks are the secret to a more fulfilling life. And they can help you, too, assuming your parents are rich.

Whether your parents have tens of millions or hundreds of millions I promise, implementing these hacks will make you a more joyful person!

Pursue a Career You’re Passionate About

Life is short. You don’t want to waste it in a corner office earning millions of dollars at your uncle’s investment firm. Wouldn’t you much rather be an actor, or musician, or producer that thinks they’re creative?
If you want passion, pursue a career in the arts! Of course, some of you may be saying – “How can I financially support myself while I’m just starting out. Won’t I need a day job?”

This is of course a joke that you are telling to yourself. Your parents have money and you will be fine.

Tell Someone You Love Them

It may seem simple, but every day you should tell someone you love them. For instance, whichever family member has the most money. Say you love them a lot. And provide context for your love by telling them that your siblings do not love them.That’ll make you especially happy.

Love is perhaps the most time tested technique for securing capitol.

Eliminate Student Loan Debt If Possible

I have no idea what this is. “Student loan debt?” I’m always seeing this phrase whenever I wander away from the secret Internet only the ultra-rich can access and onto the regular Internet. But I don’t get it. However, I can surmise that it is very bad. So if you can eliminate the student loan debts, you should do it.

Buy a Helicopter

I bought a god damn helicopter and it’s amazing. I highly recommend this life hack to everyone.

Be More Outgoing

When you’re old and gray in your south France solarium, sipping vodka that’s been poured over a supermodel’s breast, do you want to feel sorry about all the masked orgies you didn’t attend? Or all the poors in Serbian red rooms you didn’t murder? The people who are truly happiest are the ones that spend their lives doing exactly what they want, when they want, regardless of how much it costs and how it affects others.

This is the only way to live. Again, assuming your parents are rich.