Oh my god! Oh my God! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck me! Fuck me! Ok damage control… damage control… Jesus fucking Christ HE CAME OUT OF…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Alec Bayliff wore his finest Philadelphia Flyers jersey to his arraignment this morning to face his most recent charges for grand…
LOS ANGELES — Johnny Rotten and Marky Ramone nearly came to blows on stage Wednesday evening at a promotional event for the Epix network’s new Punk…
RICHMOND, Va. — Out of Line vocalist Chance Carter prepared for his set at the Canal Club last night by loudly berating the sound guy…
Feminism is in a weird place in 2019. It seems like for every step forward, there’s a step back. No one embodies this struggle more…
Dear Scabby: I quit my shitty serving job in a moment of rage this past week. The only issue is me and my girlfriend have…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local pop-punk darlings Break Shot are running out of obscure movie quotes to inspire song titles for their newest release, Weekend At…
Buckle up fuckers, it’s morphin’ time! K.A. Applegate’s Animorphs books were some of the most popular and traumatic YA stories ever told. The diverse cast…
Mr. Bungle? Please, do I look that old? I’m just razzing you. Seriously though, Mr. Bungle was my father’s name, so call me George. George…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — The new “gutterhaus” subscription box service is disrupting the living-on-the-streets industry by delivering artisanal cardboard boxes to gutter punks every single…
A new scientific study conducted by you, your roommate’s unemployed boyfriend, and your dog Rocco via contact high, has concluded that the cops are outside…
MARION, Iowa — Local woman Richelle Sumner has undertaken the responsibility of helping her friends learn more about themselves through her tarot card readings, despite…
ATLANTA — ICE agents arrested longtime Atlanta-based hip-hop duo Outkast last night, and are preparing to deport both members back to their home nation of…
Hollywood’s Unattainable Beauty Standards Are Damaging to Ugly, Up-and-Coming Serial Killers Like Me
Hollywood’s Unattainable Beauty Standards Are Damaging to Ugly, Up-and-Coming Serial Killers Like Me
It’s hard out here for a serial killer. I have to plan every detail, cover my tracks, choose the perfect victim, and remember to save…
PASADENA, Calif. — Local parent Kevin Westfall told his son Danny last week that Danny “had a great set,” despite only being present for the…