WASHINGTON — President Trump reversed this morning an Obama-era policy limiting the amount of guitar solos butt rock bands could include in a single song,…
PARAMUS, N.J. – Publishing company Marion-Waxslaw released the revised 3rd edition of its Pop-Punk Rhyming Dictionary earlier this week, expanded to encompass nearly eight full…
CLAIM: Louisville post-hardcore darlings Slint took their name from a lewd, highly offensive British slang term for female genitalia. RATING: FALSE ORIGIN: I get it,…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local father Brett Donaldson let everyone at Disneyland know yesterday that “…he’s no fucking pussy” by proudly wearing his Hatebreed shirt on…
Much like Children, fantasy is crucial to the emotional and cognitive development of bassists. They need to constantly expand the limits of their imagination in…
NEW YORK — Famed film auteur Wes Anderson unceremoniously announced today that his next movie would be about “a sad guy watching birds or some…
CHICAGO — Local man Mason Townsend is in stable condition this morning after being bit by an aggressive crust punk and involuntarily sprouting a dreadlock,…
WATKINS GLEN, N.Y. — Organizers behind Woodstock 50 abruptly canceled the festival after discovering the desired location was already booked for a little league baseball…
FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. — A bowl of overnight oats successfully converted last week into a barely recognizable “glob of total shit” nearly one month…
I am so unbelievably sorry. When I asked you not to smoke in my house, I clearly must have confused e-cigarettes with cigarettes. I apologize…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — A 20-year-old threat made by Blink-182 frontman Mark Hoppus about fucking your mom is suddenly more realistic than ever following your parents’…
As a musician I pursue art for human connection. We all have a story to share. There are few stories more honorable than those of…
DURHAM, N.C. — James Polk High School maintenance workers found yesterday an extensive collection of vintage hacky sacks, some accidentally kicked onto the roof over…
KINGSTON, Mass. — A hardcore matinee show scheduled for this afternoon is reportedly indefinitely delayed until promoters can adequately stock the cash box to make…
JACKSON, Miss. — A Department of Sanitation report released early this morning stated that giant piles of garbage in passenger seats of messy cars across…