Look, I’m not one to complain. I am well aware of my privilege and I absolutely to not want to come off as ungrateful for…
They say your life can change in the blink of an eye. All I wanted was a forearm tattoo so that I would be more…
MESA, Ariz. — Local man Russell Garcia is worried his six-week-old relationship could “turn into something more serious that will take up precious time,” despite…
When the Avicii song “Wake Me Up” came out I was living in the desert. It sucked. There was one bar so I’d go to…
TACOMA, Wash. — Blue Note Records employees celebrated a major milestone this afternoon when the last remaining album from the long list of 2015 Record…
GREELEY, Colo. — Employees at the Needle Exchange record store dispatched a weird guy moments ago to stand uncomfortably close to you and flip through…
SANTA ROSA, Calif. — Prep cook and marijuana enthusiast Alan Fisher inadvertently used his nunchucks for their deeper, lifelong purpose when he traded the impractical…
I consider myself a bit of a music connoisseur and I listen to a lot of stuff nobody has ever heard of.That isn’t a brag,…
ANSBACH, GERMANY — Indianapolis-born stoner Pvt. Jason Jordan is “lighting up a nice fatty” at 16:20 every day as he adjusts to his military service,…
BOISE, Idaho — The freshly cleaned bedroom of local woman Megan O’Leary is “anxiously excited” to meet O’Leary’s potential sexual partner later this evening, sources…
The internet is buzzing with excitement over the next new craze in the coffee world: pour over coffee made entirely with flavored La Croix sparkling…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Mercury is finally out of the dickhead zone for you, so enjoy the reprieve. Use the time to subject everyone to…
WALNUT CREEK, Calif. — Busy Bean Café barista Zeynab Polykarpos is reportedly unaware that pop-punk frontman and frequent customer Johnny Saunders has penned more than…
Punk’s not dead, right? Spoiler alert, dipshit! According to this fan theory, punk has been dead for decades. Not only that, but evidence suggests that…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Rockville mayor “Rowdy” Randy Holmes was removed from his elected position this morning after being deemed unfit to lead in even the…