WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man Bryan Walsh is terrified and “jumping to insane conclusions” this morning after his father, commercial electrician Murray Walsh, cryptically said…
LOS ANGELES — Blink-182 bassist Mark Hoppus confirmed today his jealousy of former bandmate Tom DeLonge’s frequent contact with extraterrestrials, secretly wishing even just one…
NEW YORK — 26-year-old alleged Gambino crime family mobster James “Woke Jimmy” Scotto sent a business associate a Venmo request yesterday with a threatening fish…
PORTLAND, Maine. — The intro track of doom metal band Bleak Altar’s newest album is either an “artful, slow burn” or “complete waste of 12…
PARAMUS, N.J. — Musician Dan Beck has been repeatedly playing the same part of the Pavement song “Silence Kid” in a local Guitar Center throughout…
Dear Scabby: I’m a British man who’s 27 in just over a year and currently lives with his parents because he no longer has a…
With the growing economic success of legalized recreational marijuana in 11 states it seems that national legalization is right around the corner, but could hallucinogenic…
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. — Sugar Ray vocalist and TV personality Mark McGrath admitted today that he now embraces being called “Sugar Gay” after years of…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Pop-punk frontman and legal adult Brandon DeMarco combed through his teen girlfriend’s diary last night for inspiration, in a desperate attempt to…
It’s been nearly 10 years since we were all wide-eyed college grads whose parents handed us the keys to our first car. Now, on the…
[Ed note: Leaving the Iggy Pop obit in the draft folder. Great idea to get this written up ahead of time. I mean, have you…
DUBLIN — A local moron obviously blind to his own idiocy stood around last night with a brand-new Gildan shirt wadded up in his clammy…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local adventurer Melissa Carter will leave her base camp by the big water jug on the bar later this evening to go…
DULUTH, Minn. — A new report released today in the New England Journal of Medicine claims that the feeling of being in love with someone…
High school is a minefield. It’s the first time young people feel the pressure to distinguish themselves as worthwhile individuals. That’s why it’s always so…