ALTOONA, Pa. — Anthony Spengler, the drummer for the hardcore band Unabashed, cleared off half of the band’s usual merch of T-shirts, buttons, and barely…
The Ultimate Playlist to Let Her Know You’ve Moved On, but Are Still Down to Bang, Get Back Together
The Ultimate Playlist to Let Her Know You’ve Moved On, but Are Still Down to Bang, Get Back Together
Looking to save face with your ex while also desperately trying to get her back? Cue the breakup playlist! Nothing says “I’m over it” like…
PEARL CITY, Hawaii — Local bus driver for the city of Honolulu Keoni “Green Bottles” Karns updated his apparent hit list earlier today of passengers…
Last week, we were fortunate enough to sit down with indie pop (we think?) band We the Kings to catch up on their latest tour…
LOS ANGELES — Popular rock band Imagine Dragons announced today that they scrapped their upcoming album “Explosion” when they realized none of the tracks could…
BETHESDA, Md. — Local woman Tabitha Wicksham is “not at all worried” about her husband sleeping with groupies during his cover band’s upcoming tour, citing…
Gorillas are magnificent creatures. They stand tall with powerful posture, pick their noses, and fuck in full view of a family audience in zoos. Very…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local man Garret Bergeron asked a Bizarro Records store clerk yesterday if she validated opinions before he purchased a stack of new…
CHICAGO — Local pervert Tommy Webster was surprised to discover yesterday a band named after mannequin pussy, his favorite fetish in the world, peeved out…
It’s no secret that the rise of technology has furthered the generational divide dramatically. This new generation blatantly ignores the past with the foolhardy presumption…
OMAHA, Neb. — Frontman/songwriter of folk/punk trio Astor tried to write lyrics as haiku poetry, but kept messing up the last line, sources confirm. “I’ve…
I’m trying to think of this emo band but I just can’t remember their name. They were huge in the early 2000s and their music…
LOS ANGELES — The number of new recruits joining Tiger Army has reached an all-time low, according to numbers released today by the Tiger Armed…
EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of divorce papers devolved into outright…
All too often, health gurus and ex-partners will tell you that guzzling an endless stream of low-quality lager is incompatible with healthy living. I’m here…