ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention issued a reminder today that no one would’ve attended a Thursday night show anyway at KTUB…
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Punk and self-described “downfall of the establishment” Garreth Wilkes announced today that he will send a vicious death threat to his sitting…
TOKYO — Acclaimed anime director Hayao Miyazaki has recently released an annual schedule of when he’ll be coming in and out of retirement from his…
SAN FRANCISCO — Email marketing specialist Seth Samael, widely considered one of the most diabolical internet admins, was seen twirling his mustache and cackling yesterday…
As one of the few people in this world that genuinely listens to lyrics and pays attention to song titles, allow me to blow your…
LOS ANGELES — Social media website MySpace announced today it will require their singular employee to work from home during the COVID-19 pandemic, according to…
TOKYO — Citing a stifling work environment caused by shifting business interests, legendary video game designer Hideo Kojima announced that he would be parting ways…
BANGOR, Maine — Prolific horror writer Stephen King reportedly penned the long-anticipated sixth book in George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire…
PITTSBURGH — Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University released a disturbing report today predicting that 100% of erotic asphyxiation will be automated by the year 2028,…
TORRANCE, Calif. — Shortly after depositing his paycheck on Friday evening, local freelance artist David Gill excitedly ordered a brand new DXRacer gaming chair with…
NEW YORK — G/O Media CEO Jim Spanfeller has reportedly written a stern letter to the editorial staff at video game website Kotaku, demanding that…
LONDON — Best-selling author JK Rowling announced today that her new novel Troubled Blood will be published anonymously, written entirely in a greentext story on…
WASHINGTON — In order to streamline distribution, sources are reporting that Universal Basic Income will be distributed to Americans via a daily login bonus on…
CARSON CITY, Nev. — Your good friend Tony Suarez will make his radio debut tonight with his punk band The Republicants during your prime sleeping…
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YouTuber Deeply Regrets ‘Kill It With Fire’ Comment on Australian Spider Video
YUMA, Ariz. — Jed Thompkins, also known as “Riseofthejedguy” on YouTube, is reportedly distraught over a comment he made on a 2017 video of a…