CHICAGO — Polyamorous man John Castenda gallantly put both of his girlfriends on his shoulders at the Rainy Days Music Fest last weekend, giving them…
The other day The Hard Times was at a coffee shop and ahead of us in line was a real-live 40-year-old in a beanie. He…
TORONTO — 29-year-old Jazmyn Elliot thought she was falling in love yesterday until she realized she was instead aroused simply from needing to urinate, according…
It’s hard to believe that the “Fashioncore” era of hardcore is nearly two decades old. This was a time that saw many people dying their…
NEW YORK — Comedy Central announced the cancelation of “Straight Edge History” last night immediately after it’s inaugural episode aired, citing record-low ratings for a…
MILWAUKEE — Local punk Doug Reece is surprised and deeply troubled that he has lived long enough for his metabolism to decrease so significantly, according…
Junior high is a difficult age when even the slightest embarrassment can challenge a young man’s development of confidence in my, I mean his, adult…
SALT LAKE CITY — Your mom just wanted to let you know today that a single, 22-year-old nurse just started working full-time with her at…
Can you believe the album that made us fall in love with Neko Case, Dan Bejar and the other members of The New Pornographers turns…
BALTIMORE — Local frontman Dave Kuenen of hardcore band Hammer & Nail is under scrutiny today for allegedly cheating on his long-term diet with an…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Old-school punk and the woman you call “Grandma,” Ophelia “Snotcock” Dillon, noticed you no longer come by to borrow her van for…
Oh, dear. Well, Billy, you’re in a bit of a precarious situation here. Damn, this jump looked way narrower from down there. Ah, shit! Are…
LONG BEACH, Calif. — A controversial report released by The Center for Technology today concluded that “probably like 90%” of all individual music collections are…
We’ve all done embarrassing stuff when we were young. William Frederick Jordan Durst, the auteur director who graced us all last summer with the psychological…
PHILADELPHIA — Adam Lyons, the lead singer of local band Krawlspace, was deeply offended yesterday after finding a kill-list written by a deranged super-fan with…