BANGOR, Maine — A punk show scheduled for 7 p.m. last night at Lobster Prison is currently 10 hours past the expected start time, while…
DETROIT — A group of squatting punks became unwitting participants in the eternal struggle of man-versus-nature last week, as each side fought to reclaim an…
Dear Scabby: What’s the best way to DIY myself a stick n poke tattoo on my face? Always wanted one, and i might as well…
I don’t think there are many people out there who will tell you America has no problems to fix. Let’s start with the electoral college.…
JACKSON, Miss. — Loyal Smiths fan Jaden Woods is desperately pushing a conspiracy theory that the real Morrissey died decades ago, and the politically controversial…
BALTIMORE — Local karaoke enthusiasts were shocked last night to learn that the words to Cosmic Dinosaur’s hit single “Let’s Stop Going” were significantly worse…
GREENSBURG, Pa. — 93-year-old grandfather and pretentious grouch Stan Kiska yet again defended his stance today that Joe Besser was the funniest and most talented…
Dudes! Can you even fucking believe this? Seems like yesterday we were just scrawny freshman walking into Neil Armstrong High School looking up at the…
SAN ANTONIO — A friend informed you today during a visit to your hometown that she finally listened to Breaking Benjamin, a band you suggested…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local cop and amateur wrestler Casper “Cooter” Jones, who has struggled with a violent past, present and likely future, arrived at the…
CHICAGO — Riot Fest organizers announced today that this year’s festival will be headlined by all past iterations of Andrew W.K. performing together, as the…
Thanks for coming into my office today. Investing your time, energy, and emotions into a potential relationship partner is quite an undertaking. Effectively and efficiently…
MILWAUKEE — Local scene mainstay Ynez “Nezzy” Martin could not recall the band they had just seen play last week after receiving a head injury…
LONDON, England — The Central Criminal Court of England and Wales shocked reporters today in calling for the immediate release of Video, incarcerated since found…
NEW YORK — An alarming new study conducted by a research panel of angry baby boomers found that 82% of millennials can not locate Paradise…