It starts earlier every year. The lights, the music, the “harmless” lies that make children think the world gives a damn about their little wants…
LIVONIA, Mich. — A group of punk Christmas carolers regretted their choice to include The Misfits’ classic “Last Caress” in their repertoire after it was…
ST. LOUIS — Acquaintances of chronically fatigued punk Anthony Mafodda are reportedly perplexed by the rocker’s nocturnal habit of sheathing each individual point of his…
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Shelby Walsh announced yesterday that she’s “turned over a new leaf,” rebranding her tumultuous personal life as “her journey,” several…
Me – A gorgeous firefighter that is also a devoted single-father to a little girl named Holly. Holly lost her mother to an unnamed disease…
VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local Papa Roach fan Danny Herman scurried out of a Circle K this morning in apparent good health, despite being decapitated in…
DALLAS — Singer-songwriter and registered sex offender Wilfred Barton announcded his first tour dates at a press conference held yesterday afternoon since pleading guilty to…
NORMAN, Okla. — A surprising new study found that it’s way easier to just change your password every time you login instead of trying to…
Smash. The. Patriarchy. As we exit 2019 and enter the new roaring ‘20s it’s time to dispel the myth that a cis white male can…
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio — Disturbed federal agents confirmed today that local punk and well-known exhibitionist Angela Meyers has removed the little piece of green tape that…
NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — Frontman for hardcore band XjaundiceX and local scene legend Al Harrell spent the past week trying to convince his partner Lily Vallee…
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Local man and admitted problem-drinker Gibson Leary woke up this morning with a headache, dehydration, and a CD he must have…
Theses days, the bureaucracy and red tape of local government are choking the life out of democracy. And I don’t believe I’m exaggerating when I…
IRVINE, Calif. — Virtually every single punk attending the Bucket of Dog Shit record release show today is terrified everyone else will find out about…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — 41-year-old punk Kaira Rojas is concerned her new drug dealer is ripping her off, paying increasingly high prices for medication she needs…