NEW YORK — Local man Bryan Watson spent his 28th birthday last week quarantined from friends and family due to the COVID-19 pandemic, but didn’t…
Politicians are arguing over how best to implement a stimulus package and all I can think about is how much I’d like to be back…
LOS ANGELES — Axl Rose arrived six hours late today to a charity livestream event featuring a plethora of other artists performing in their homes…
Now that I’m stuck at home I’m losing my mind from boredom. I can only spend so many hours a day watching movies, playing my…
My entire life, I worried about disappointing the expectations of my family, friends, and colleagues, thereby exposing myself as the loser piece of shit I…
HEBRON, Ky. — Longtime Amazon fulfillment center worker Jayce Sheffield will use a combination of their accrued sick and vacation hours to attend their own…
After dutifully reporting to my essential job opening at 5 a.m. at Panera every morning since all this shit started going down, on Friday night…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Members of longstanding nü-metal band Slipknot are facing intense criticism today for refusing to donate their signature masks to medical personnel…
WASHINGTON — A select group of centrist moderate Democrats are in talks to cooperate with COVID-19 on a path towards giving both parties what they…
With the economy tanking and unemployment skyrocketing, we at The Hard Times realized it may have been misguided to assume the country would elect a…
SEATTLE — Punk band Knuckle Fist is being forced to give 80% of their economic stimulus check to their record label, according to perplexed sources…
TULSA, Okla. — Local Netflix viewer Trevor Doyle spent the past 24 hours frantically binge watching Martin Scorsese films to push “Project Runway” off his…
CONROE, Texas — RadioShack employee Rachel Meinke reportedly has “no fucking clue” why she’s considered an essential employee during the COVID-19 lockdown, bored and kind…
Apparently the higher-ups at The Hard Times want to get in on the foodie craze and for some reason they thought now would be a…
NEW YORK — Dr. Mark Miller turned down a homemade mask today that could help protect him from COVID-19 after seeing that it featured album…