FILLMORE, Minn. — Researchers confirmed today that crust punk James “Pyrofuck” Polinita is officially the first human completely immune to Chronic Wasting Disease — popularly…
180 search results for “"crust punk"”
CHICAGO — Local man Mason Townsend is in stable condition this morning after being bit by an aggressive crust punk and involuntarily sprouting a dreadlock,…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local crust punk Aaron Beckman compromised his health this week when his self-made coronavirus facemask inadvertently exposed him to 32 other rare…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Crust punk Brad DelFino’s bathing attempt brought tragedy to his community yesterday, as sources report the 10-minute shower somehow left DelFino grosser…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local crust punk Gabe Cox is tremendously worried that “radical left” gun control policies will result in his favorite accessory, a belt…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A freegan crust punk was left horrified and repulsed after discovering where the food in the dumpster behind his local Burger King…
PITTSBURGH – Local crust punk Connor Thompson openly rejects the use of normal paper coffee filters and instead uses a dingy, faded Discharge patch off…
WASHINGTON — Abaddon the Destroyer, an immortal demon from the deepest depths of hell, begged an exorcist to free him from the body of the…
WEST SENECA, N.Y. — Legendary crust punk Selma “Pusbubble” Gormin shocked her friends and fellow squatters this morning, announcing that she was “sick of this…
Like all living things, crust punks can be classified into many different subspecies. Here are some of the most common crusties found in nature. Illustrations…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local crust-punk Richard Andre married his roommate Morgan Atwell yesterday in a romantic ceremony in which he passed his contagious ringworm infection…
Punk music has evolved and expanded over the years. There are now hundreds of subgenres that all fit within the extended family of punk rock.…
DETROIT — Punk rock loving octogenarian Edith Bettencourt placed a pan of her fresh, warm crack cocaine on her kitchen windowsill to cool, according to…
Few people were as synonymous or odorous in the punk world as the Stinky Cheese Man. He and the “Fairly Stupid Crew” were staples of…
Established in 1973, CBGB was the legendary club that fostered the birth and growth of New York punk and hardcore. The “Country, Bluegrass, and Blues”…
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