PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Julian “The Stain” Rainer stunned a group of friends by somehow clogging a perfectly good toilet merely after urinating…
182 search results for “"crust punk"”
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local crust punk Gabe Cox is tremendously worried that “radical left” gun control policies will result in his favorite accessory, a belt…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Crust punk Brad DelFino’s bathing attempt brought tragedy to his community yesterday, as sources report the 10-minute shower somehow left DelFino grosser…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local crust punk Aaron Beckman compromised his health this week when his self-made coronavirus facemask inadvertently exposed him to 32 other rare…
CHICAGO — Local man Mason Townsend is in stable condition this morning after being bit by an aggressive crust punk and involuntarily sprouting a dreadlock,…
FILLMORE, Minn. — Researchers confirmed today that crust punk James “Pyrofuck” Polinita is officially the first human completely immune to Chronic Wasting Disease — popularly…
NEW YORK — Vagabond crust punk Sheri “Tick Bite” Rowland was spotted outside of the Bowery Whole Foods store begging shoppers for “just $15 to…
EUGENE, Ore. — Michael “Skunk” Stinson, a father, husband and drummer for longstanding D-beat band Dis-Sheveled and proud advocate for responsible bullet belt ownership, announced…
WEST SENECA, N.Y. — Legendary crust punk Selma “Pusbubble” Gormin shocked her friends and fellow squatters this morning, announcing that she was “sick of this…
Like all living things, crust punks can be classified into many different subspecies. Here are some of the most common crusties found in nature. Illustrations…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local crust-punk Richard Andre married his roommate Morgan Atwell yesterday in a romantic ceremony in which he passed his contagious ringworm infection…
Punk music has evolved and expanded over the years. There are now hundreds of subgenres that all fit within the extended family of punk rock.…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — The group of gutter punks that loiters near 5th and Huron employs many invented terms for states of impoverishment, sources hurrying…
DETROIT — Punk rock loving octogenarian Edith Bettencourt placed a pan of her fresh, warm crack cocaine on her kitchen windowsill to cool, according to…
Few people were as synonymous or odorous in the punk world as the Stinky Cheese Man. He and the “Fairly Stupid Crew” were staples of…
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