When I pictured falling in love, I imagined the classic story of “girl meets guy and falls in love.” But apparently, fate had other plans…
IRVINE, Calif. — Doctor Lazlo Thesiger, a research scientist at Taco Bell’s Insights Lab, has resorted to unnatural and dark methods to achieve his obsessive…
I remember bouncing on my father’s knee when I was just a boy, his breath that comforting aroma of Milwaukee’s Best and 711 taquitos. He…
SEQUIM, Wash. – Local doom metal band Skull Ritual are seeing a sudden surge in popularity ever since adding an elusive Sasquatch to their rhythm…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local personal trainer Chance “Hard Knock” Turner has been seen tearing across town in defiance of myriad traffic laws, solidifying his reputation…
Look, we honestly thought this would be a great idea. Oh, just have some adorable little preschoolers draw what they think God looks like. It’s…
BALTIMORE, Md. — Local showgoers were shocked and dismayed after witnessing punk band, The Baby Hitlers, vanish completely during their performance moments ago, according to…
Eichlers is pioneering a new genre dubbed “HYPERSKA”; an infectiously catchy mix of electronic melodies and “My Checkered Future” is the first album from the…
I’m extremely freaked out. I’m not normally a big conspiracy guy, but I was on a Zoom call with my dad this afternoon and a…
CHARLOTTE N.C. — 35-year-old punk stock trader “Big” Tim Treadwell jumped out of a speeding van’s window yesterday after receiving bad news about his portfolio…
We recently sat down with Hannah, a local college student, and handed her a copy of Alanis Morissette’s “Jagged Little Pill” to see if she…
SEATTLE – Legendary drone metal duo Sunn O))) announced they are disbanding following a dispute over whether their next 10-minute dirge should be on a…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local man Allen McGuire noticed late yesterday afternoon that the sex doll he ordered online beared a striking resemblance to rock n’…
RENO, Nev. — Local boyfriend Zach Dornan planned a romantic evening out for him and his girlfriend Lizzie Hart at his friend Brett Baum’s house,…
Why the fuck are the bride and groom barefoot? What the hell is this supposed to be about? Some sort of rooted-in-nature thing? Like they’re…