OAKLAND, Calif. — Green Day’s newest venture, Oakland Coffee, was criticized for using the same three bland roasts over and over again, confirmed multiple caffeinated…
All pop punk frontmen are the same. With their limited vocal ranges, minimal guitar skill, and shared affinities for black skinny jeans, these guys are…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Legendary hardcore band Hatebreed were spotted congregating around their very own fiery band logo to kick back and roast marshmallows in a…
This week we take a look back on The 2004 metalcore album “3750” by the pride of Chicopee, Massachusetts, The Acacia Strain. Or, at least,…
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Local child Kevin Gallagher is enjoying much of his day watching a “Courage the Cowardly Dog” marathon with his uncle Pete…
I’ve been living on this godforsaken planet for twenty-six years and, until today, I’ve never ever felt like I belong. Well, all that just changed.…
Tool is a platinum-selling, Grammy-winning, Billboard-topping collection of brilliant artists. Despite selling out arena tours, the average person does not understand the genius of the…
TROMAVILLE — Melvin Junko, also known as the Toxic Avenger, recently revealed that he is going to therapy for the first time in hopes of…
Derek and Cristina Bracken’s too-cool-for-school child-rearing practices were so lax that their children were taken away from them and made wards of the state. Bracken’s…
NEW YORK — Serial party animal Andrew W.K. shocked fans with his new acoustic album “Let’s Get This Get Together Over by Nine” which showed…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — Former chimpanzee handler Scott Guiles is reportedly thriving following his recent career transition to manager for the self-proclaimed “apecore” band The Gorillalalalas,…
LOS ANGELES — The Hallmark Channel announced that their slate of upcoming holiday movies will be their most enticing yet with ten times more storylines…
Ever wash your hands in a Denny’s restroom after making room for your Grand Slam only to find that the hand dryer is busted? If…
CARLSBAD, Calif. — Local woman Janice Rickards told her husband he could go ahead with his dream of building a mini ramp in their backyard…
AMHERST, Mass. — Local vegan recording engineer Tyson McNally came under fire from the audio community for covering his home studio walls with empty JUST…