Are you one of those people who waits until the end of the week to read up on news? Well, you’re in luck. Here’s your one and only chance to catch up on the most important stories you missed this week.

Metalhead Forgets to Ask For Anything in Return When Making Deal With the Devil

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Death Metal Guitarist Suffers Permanent Hearing Damage After Seeing One Movie at an AMC Theater

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Awkward: Woman Not Sure What To Do With Hands During Handjob

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Punk on “Wheel of Fortune” Asks if He Can Bum a Vowel

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Brendon Urie Delivers Panic! At The Disco Breakup Speech Into Mirror

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Watch Out! This Rebel Wears a D.A.R.E. Shirt Even Though She Does Drugs

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Gen Zer Keeps Collection of Concert Ticket PDFs on Old Phone in Shoe Box

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Oh Fuck: The Bad To The Bone Guitar Riff Started Playing As That Bearded Guy Entered the Room

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Kraftwerk Asks Sound Guy if They Can Get More Beeps and Boops in Monitor

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“Velma” Creators Promise Scooby-Doo Will Appear In Season Two, Show Full Cock And Balls

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