Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio
TOKYO — In an effort to prevent damage to their products, the game publisher and console manufacturer Sony urged customers…
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Steven Porfiri
8 stories found
Man Suffers Through 30 Minutes of Jazz Before Realizing He Just Likes Cowboy Bebop
LOS ANGELES — Local anime fan Jason Dominguez listened to nearly half an hour of a jazz album last Friday…
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Lonely Gamer Just Wants Someone to Settle Down and Get Way Too Into Board Games With
MINNEAPOLIS — Lamenting the scarcity of eligible women in online voice chats, Darren McDaniels announced Wednesday that he simply could…
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Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor
SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Pastor Paul Michaels of the Cornerstone Church announced today that he is currently on the verge…
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Mainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers Unemployed
LOS ANGELES — Recent labor statistics show the number of gatekeeper positions available in the United States dropped 30% between…
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Infantry Unit Welcomed Home After 500-Year Deployment
MINNEAPOLIS — After spending 500 years on active deployment, the members of the 101st Division of America’s Musketmen were welcomed…
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NFL Rookie Trying to Kneel During National Anthem Accidentally Goes Prone
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — In what appeared to be an attempt to show support for his teammates, New York Giants…
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Dating Simulator Features Extra-Hard “What Are We?” Mode
PALO ALTO, Calif. — A new dating simulator, University Tales, is making waves by offering a new extra-hard difficulty setting…
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