I’ve heard my fair share of criticism from my bandmates over the years. They say that I’m “too moody.” That I’m an “unreliable asshole.” That…
Sure, Drum Machines Can Keep a Beat, But They’ll Never Replicate My Profound Lack of Professionalism
LEAWOOD, Kan. — Movie theater chain AMC rolled out a new tiered fee system allowing patrons to avoid seats behind cinephile boyfriends commenting on the…
Sleeping. It is literally the goddamned best. You just lay there, you don’t have to do anything, you don’t even have to have thoughts. We…
OMAHA, Neb. — An unwanted Line 6 Spider III was recently abandoned on the stoop of the East Omaha Sanctuary For Unwanted Boys, somber sources…
Ever wished that Slayer’s pathological need to play at cokehead speed was combined with the earworm serpentine riffing of Metallica? Then you’d like Havok. The…
HAZLEHURST, Miss. — Indie horror movie “The Scary Place” is leaving primarily Republican audiences in freshly shitted-and pissed-in pants due to its terrifying, uneventful depictions…
Sure, Ben, we all agree that the glove compartment is inaccurately named. But if you’re going to galavant around town making big demands like a…
The Ramones played 2,263 concerts over the span of 22 years, with a cool 14 full-length albums under their belts as well. That kind of…
TERRE HAUTE, Ind. — Nearly all of the speakers at the service for deceased punk Jeremy Wiggins reported that he’d passed away still owing them…
Boca Raton’s non-senior-citizen-early-bird-special act Dashboard Confessional has the unique distinction of being a band, solo project, side gig, and a showcase of brilliant dances/haircuts. Dashboard…
OAKLAND – A recent Journal of Musicology paper titled ‘Slow Rides and Fast Cars: The Sound of Reckless Driving’ concluded that there aren’t nearly as…
Listen… as a parent, I love Bluey. I do. The overnight Disney Junior hit cartoon does an excellent job of entertaining both adults and kids…
We all know that the classic Parker Brothers board game Monopoly can bring out the worst in people. Friendships, relationships, and even familial bonds have…
It’s happened. The day has come. Your beloved white friend has asked you to give their favorite Wilco album a listen. They have sworn up…
Having a novelty hit in the ‘90s is a sticky situation. Most one-hit wonders of that era have long since faded into karaoke catalog legend,…