WASHINGTON — Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren dropped out of the 2020 presidential race following a rough Super Tuesday showing where it was revealed she polled…
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SEATTLE — An upcoming minmalist independent game, fields, imagines an open world where you forgo any exploration whatsoever and just like, fucking chill out for…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local straight edge man Matt Parrish reportedly thinks that his girlfriend of eight months is only interested in him for his clean,…
LAS VEGAS — Local punk Andrew “RatFink” Haseley was recently offered a cool $300 by the hit History Channel show “Pawn Stars” under the condition…
WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh tried to create a new judicial nomination process yesterday, in which Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s successor will be whoever…
BOISE, Idaho — A days-long investigation into the 2020 Wrapped list of local man Evan Burghart was revealed to be heavily edited in order to…
DURHAM, NC — Researchers at Duke University recently discovered that playing Tool for your newborn will cause them to grow up thinking they’re smarter, deeper,…
NASHVILLE — Legendary guitar manufacturer Gibson Brands, Inc. announced an incredibly weighty successor to its famous Les Paul guitar, monikered the More Paul, sources who…
NEW YORK — Local venue Splatz Diner got a head start on lifting the mask mandate by declaring masks unnecessary since March 27, 2020, sources…
SAN DIEGO, Calif. – Disturbing security footage surfaced overnight of political skate-punk band Make America Skate Again taking performance enhancing lessons, causing a storm of…
BELO HORIZONTE, Brazil — A team of explorers recently discovered a previously unheard album by heavy metal band Sepultura hidden deep in the Amazon rainforest,…
So you’re feeling a bit under the weather after a recent motorcycle rally. Should you take a Covid test? Why bother! Those tests are about…
With Thanksgiving later this week, many of us will be spending time with family members we don’t see very often. Avoid these 12 conversation topics…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Famous Nintendo voice actor Charles Martinet has stepped down as the voice of Mario after failing to complete a big bowl…
NEW YORK — U.S. President-elect Donald J. Trump held a press conference this morning to announce the manufacture of Trump Condoms, his latest namesake business…
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