BUFFALO, N.Y. — A small, unorganized local collection of punks, transients, and drug addicts with minimal artistic ability and motivation keep referring to themselves as…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A four-year-old golden retriever named Sadie is far and away the most productive member of local punk house, exasperated neighbors confirmed.…
PHILADELPHIA — Local woman Juliana Azzara passed the four hours waiting for her train last night by asking a man at a nearby dive bar…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Seminal crust punk band Leftöver Crack canceled their upcoming Midwestern tour today when drummer Donny Morris missed the freight train door…
LOS ANGELES — The International Committee for Problematic Favorites announced today that die-hard defenders of Morrissey have won the 2019 gold medal in mental gymnastics,…
NEW YORK — The highly anticipated Ramones “Word of the Day” calendar was released yesterday, which disappointed but unsurprised fans found repeats itself by mid-March…
LOS ANGELES — The artificial intelligence algorithm behind LANDR’s audio mastering service yesterday remastered all songs it received into Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping,” according to mildly peeved…
EL PASO, Texas — Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke faced increased scrutiny from political adversaries yesterday following accusations alleging he deleted dozens of nü-metal mp3s…
When The Hard Times scored an interview with Jack White we were thrilled. However, what he said was so excruciatingly, unrelentingly pretentious I decided ‘fuck…
AKRON, Ohio — New local venue The Roach Trap has set the DIY punk scene ablaze with its endless amenities, including a kitchen, bedrooms, and…
RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the disbanded hardcore group Surge Protector reunited in secret last night to discuss ending their retirement to make one last…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Right Cross frontman Tony Cooper went well out of his way last night to make sure everyone attending his band’s show was…
LOS ANGELES — ’90s electronica artist Moby dismissed today the negative statements you allegedly made about him on a friends’ Instagram post, with the musician…
ENDICOTT, N.Y. — A small punk community in central New York officially ran out of new scene members to fuck late yesterday evening, sources who…
ATLANTA — And Weeping Solemnly, The Cherubs Affixed Their Gaze merch guy Luis Flores admitted today he hopes to join the band onstage soon, as…