DENVER — Local woman Margaret Phelmer is reportedly struggling to embrace her new polyamorous lifestyle following a disastrous haircut, concerned sources confirm. “I went to…
SOUTHBRIDGE, Mass.–Newly 40-year-old man Gregory Chaudhari is experiencing a new type of mid-life crisis like many others his age–the inability to afford one. “In my…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk dog Rex Pistols reportedly refuses to eat anything but Doc Martens boots, puzzled sources confirmed. “Hell no, I’m not eating…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local Lord of the Rings Fan Eldridge Carey has shared his overwhelming appreciation for “the detail and nuance” within current Taylor Swift…
The holidays are right around the corner, and you’re looking for the perfect gift for friends. Or maybe you’re even dropping heavy hints in front…
MONTAGUE, Mass. — Local man Jack Callahan is reportedly on day two of trying to type his overly complicated Disney+ password using the remote for…
We see a lot of comments saying “The Hard Times used to be good” and today we provide you with definitive proof that we have…
INDIANAPOLIS — Local man, and Duolingo enthusiast, Brandon Cole horrified friends and acquaintances gathered at an Italian restaurant when he attempted to order food for…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local record collector Eliza Vernon reported being distraught and is demanding a refund after the owner of Infinity Vinyl failed to compliment…
DUBAI — The COP28 Climate Summit concluded with a landmark agreement to phase out fossil fuels under the condition that big oil executives be allowed…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local man Scott Bernaki, 34, is currently contemplating the series of life choices which led to him deciding to get a…
Like politicians, serial killers tend to have an unjustifiable amount of self-esteem. They see what they’re doing as art or God’s work or whatever screwed-up…
GAZA CITY — High-ranking officials in the Israeli Defence Force were alarmed by a new report that suggested Gaza still had 1/3rd of their hospitals…
SILVER SPRING, Md. – Local Boomer Glen Thais created a disturbance at the insurance firm where he is employed after sending an unsolicited dick fax…
NEW YORK — Spotify dismissed CFO Paul Vogel when a video of him dropping a dollar into a subway busker’s guitar case came to light,…