POMONA, Calif. — In a group text to her three sons, Caroline Barnhardt followed an already cryptic message with a “downright chilling” series of ellipses,…
PHILADELPHIA — A new study from the University of Pennsylvania revealed that the findings from their last study could not be more undeniably wrong. “We…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Headdress-clad Claire Downing wore an article of clothing from every section of Buffalo Exchange this past weekend at the Taste of the…
AUSTIN, Texas — A crust punk dog was forced to terminate his owner last week after the owner contracted a sudden illness that quickly spiraled…
NEW YORK — A controversial new HBO Series will be set in an alternate timeline in which Betamax, not VHS, had won the ’80s videotape…
Becoming a parent is difficult. It’s a lot different than people tell you it will be. They say when a woman first holds her baby…
DANBURY, Conn. — Guitar Center employee Gavin Keane was demoted earlier today to a post at Tambourine Center for failing to show any musical competence,…
MILWAUKEE — Short Division guitarist Steve Hernandez has started a true crime podcast to share his findings as he investigates who is changing the settings…
TACOMA, Wash. — Female employees at Crammr App headquarters discovered earlier this week that their respective periods all synced to Pink Floyd’s iconic album Dark…
PASADENA, Calif. — Straight edge parents Mike and Joy Harmon were ecstatic to learn that their newborn daughter, MacKaye, was born with three X chromosomes,…
CHICAGO — A standoff is brewing between a local improv troupe and their audience, as Fancy Bananas have refused to begin their evening of comedy…
MONTREAL — Canadian post-rock collective Godspeed You! Black Emperor treated fans today to a special edition of their newest song title, releasing a 280-page hardcover…
LOS ANGELES — Singer/guitarist John O’Neill is finally motivated to move to Los Angeles after being blacklisted from Seattle’s punk scene for predatory behavior toward…
HOUSTON — Drummer Philip McNeill announced earlier today he plans to learn enough conversational Spanish to navigate his band’s entire upcoming Brazilian tour by himself,…
DALLAS — Huffing aficionado Garrett Brass tactfully broke down for uninitiated newcomers the complexities of a can of spray paint he found in his grandfather’s…