SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Greg and Marjorie Lamothe have begun the painstaking preparations for their son Jake, a philosophy major, to return home for the holidays,…
BALTIMORE — Infamous punk house “Crazz Manor” in Baltimore’s Waverly neighborhood was upgraded yesterday from a punk house to a crack house, drawing mixed reactions…
LA LUZ, N.M. — Zoe Rivas was reunited last night with her family’s premium cable subscription immediately upon returning to her parents’ house for a…
CINCINNATI — Local father and metalhead Conrad Dungy has forbidden his children from opening up any mosh pits until Christmas morning, sources close to the…
AMERICA — Americans across the nation are struggling to remember their previous holiday traditions as they prep for their first Christmas season after eight years…
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Local man Mike Soder failed yesterday to share a reasonable conversation with his tattoo artist, running out of things to talk…
The holidays are a time for family togetherness and love, which is why I am filled with the unshakable grief that I must invite you…
It looks like fans of brand synergy will have to wait quite a while for their dream film to see the light of day. An…
I remember like it was yesterday. My perfect nuclear family was invited to Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando, Florida to compete on “Double Dare.” That day…
WOODLAND, Calif. — Emerson Middle School teacher Erol Raybould inconspicuously cuffed his shirt sleeves this morning in hopes that his American History students would notice…
First things first: this is bullshit. Don’t come at me with your judgmental assumptions. There’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing and I don’t wanna…
DENVER — Local man Chris Wyatt’s first bowel movement at his new office job was completed without incident, the relieved office worker confirmed this morning.…
FLINT, Mich. — Local pit bull James Earl Bones rescued a crust punk yesterday from a no-kill shelter despite the negative stereotypes of aggressive temperament…
I’ve been sober for two years and in that time I’ve noticed a lot of misconceptions about life without alcohol. People seem to think it’s…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local DIY punk veterans the Splatz, who have been doing-it-themselves for nearly two years, now wish somebody else would step in to…