WASHINGTON — A new report from the National Institute of Health finds that rates of insomnia claimed by many late-thirties and forty-year-olds are totally valid…
MINNEAPOLIS — Frustrated local teen Amber Bronte complained to anyone who’ll listen, that the cursed amulet she unknowingly purchased at a haunted thrift store doesn’t…
PORTLAND, Ore. – Goth and frequent cemetery visitor Madison Gardiner had her day ruined by a “comically loud” grieving family saying a last farewell to…
NORFOLK, Va. — Local boyfriend Byron Hogarth admitted that his lack of a bedframe was a conscious choice to avoid the possibility of monsters hiding…
NEW YORK — Legendary auteur director Phillip Schaeffer was reportedly trapped in his Criterion closet and forced to survive on nothing but his own films…
PARAMUS, N.J. — Local man Mike Jarbowski finally decided to seek medical treatment for the twisted, demonic face growing out his back after weeks dealing…
OMAHA, Neb. — Punk-owned pomade company Skankin’ Slick received widespread praise for a policy giving all employees one week of paid medical leave to break…
Ay Caramba! Did “The Simpsons” again predict the future? One eagle-eyed viewer believes he spotted a truly unnerving and possibly earth-shattering new prediction in a…
LOS ANGELES — English comedian and late-night talk show host James Corden reportedly ruined a Carpool Karaoke episode by having a temper tantrum during a…
UPLAND, Calif. — A team of construction workers was surprised and overjoyed when a local dad took interest in what they were building and proceeded…
SCRANTON, Pa. — Local penny pincher Richard Olmsted is on the up-and-up after noticing the cupholder in his Honda Civic that holds his financial savings…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. – Singer-songwriter Elaina Driver was booed last night after audience members were disappointed that she didn’t sound as sad and pathetic as she…
BROOKLINE, Mass. — Local birdwatcher Gregory Luddy is reportedly so punk rock in her birding that the birds she’s into watching are ones you’ve probably…
SEATTLE — Local punk venue El Corazon unveiled a new kiss cam to entertain crowds during the long downtimes in between bands, sources who hoped…
PENFIELD, N.Y. — 46-year-old punk veteran Samuel “Murder One” Castor decided to further deck out his CPAP sleep apnea machine with the addition of another…