LOS ANGELES — English comedian and late-night talk show host James Corden reportedly ruined a Carpool Karaoke episode by having a temper tantrum during a skit at a drive-thru, confirmed sources who don’t get paid enough to deal with this type of shit.
“I was having a typical day working the McDonald’s drive-thru when Corden rolled up and ordered in song like one of those annoying TikTok videos,” explained nineteen-year-old employee Chase Kawecki. “He shouted, ‘Filet-O-Fish? Oh how delish! Make my fries crisp and nice — or prepare to pay the price!’ So I just entered what I thought he meant, which apparently was wrong because he flipped the fuck out screaming that I’m useless. I guess he wanted a cheeseburger, but he threatened to have my entire family beaten and put in jail. He can fuck off.”
The episode’s guest, nice guy of music comedy Weird Al, reportedly tried to play off Corden’s behavior as a joke.
“One minute we’re singing ‘Amish Paradise’ to pay respects to the late Coolio and the next he’s threatening to murder a teenager,” remarked Weird Al. “I tried my best to transition into an on-the-spot performance of my song ‘Trapped In the Drive-Thru’ to relieve the tension, but James wasn’t having any of it. He told me to shut the fuck up and made fun of my hair, I swear he was about to pull a knife on me. I hope James gets the help he needs to manage his anger, but honestly, he hurt me. I know I’m a goofy dude and all, but I have feelings too, ya know?”
Changing from his previous approach of apologizing for public meltdowns, Corden doubled down on defending his treatment of service workers.
“These lowlifes are getting paid nearly $20 an hour to bitch about flipping burgers. Their jobs are so easy, yet they still have the nerve to get surprised when I get upset that they can’t follow simple fucking directions,” fumed Corden. “And that street rat hasn’t heard the last of me. I’ll have you know I’m an appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire, so I’ll be taking my complaints all the way up to Mr. Ronald McDonald himself until these peasants learn to treat me with respect.”
As of press time, James Corden is reportedly selling his California mansion to move back to the United Kingdom where his nobility is more recognized.