UNITED STATES — Aging parents across the country encouraged their children to “just pick up the phone and give Ticketmaster a call” if they want…
NEW YORK — Local punks using the bathroom of a supposed dive bar felt betrayed when they realized they could see themselves perfectly in the…
WAKEFIELD, Quebec — Local rockabilly scene member and ex-smoker Dewey “Hepcat” Henderson recently rolled a pack of Nicorette up into the sleeve of his t-shirt,…
SAN DIEGO — Authorities scrambled to contain the damage Tuesday night after a local bar was hammered by what patrons are calling the most horrific…
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is warning against a new challenge that has gone viral on TikTok, pressuring teens to…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local clairvoyant Brian Tilton allegedly possesses the ability to perceive one’s destiny but ultimately turns up seeing no future at all, multiple…
PORTLAND, Ore. — The recently hired tour bus driver for indie darlings Cobwebs continued to consistently pick up local commuters out of sheer habit, frustrated…
STOCKTON, Calif. — Local punk Brian Hammond assured longtime friend Chris Wilson that although he could not attend his upcoming wedding, he would be sure…
KOHLER, Wis. – Kohler Co, the leader in modern kitchen design, introduced a new design specifically aimed at punk houses which is capable of holding…
SYRACUSE, N.Y – Local middle schooler Caleb Sanderman gained national attention this week after posting a now-viral video where he demonstrated a savant-like ability to…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Local contractor Sidney Laird did the impossible by constructing the very first all basement house in existence, astonished sources confirmed. “Basements have…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local Nu Metal enthusiast Clark Cannon is forcing anyone in his life with a Netflix account to pull up the documentary “Trainwreck:…
WASHINGTON — A new study by climate scientists within the hardcore scene revealed the motherfuckers in the back will almost certainly be underwater by the…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local white man Jacob Foley spent over twenty minutes deciding which hot sauce purchase would best reflect the fact that he opposes…
TAMPA, Fla. — Registered sex offender Owen Blevins repeated a familiar process of going door to door in his local suburb, but this time it…