We all know that 4/20 is one of the most important holidays on the calendar and we have done plenty of reporting on it over the years. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
New Study Confirms Cannabis Does Whatever the Fuck You Gotta Hear to Make You Feel Better About Yourself
“You feeling bad about the way you look? Blam — this study proves that doing edibles means you’re hotter than your friends. You want your parents to love you? 10 out of 10 of our doctors agree that vaping makes your dad enjoy paying your rent while you do freelance for Vice.”
We Asked a Local Stoner to Shut the Fuck Up
Just shut up already.
BREAKING: Thing Would Make Great Bong
“With a little bit of Gorilla Glue, a dremel tool with a glass cutting attachment, some PVC piping, and that hooka I broke a few months ago, this thing would make a pretty killer bong.”
Netherlands Celebrates Fourten Twitzen, A Day Where Sober Children are Beaten With a Sack of Oranges by Sinterkush
“It is much fun to be had for children to be doing the smoke drugs, and if they blaze hard enough the Sinterkush will reward them by filling der hats with Cheetos for da munching. Really it is me. I fill de hat with de munchy Cheetos, but you mustn’t tell dem!”
Sleep Album Still Playing From Last 4/20
“I never wanted to be the grumpy neighbor, but I heard that record through the walls every day for God knows how long. I never knew if it was the same song or a new song — I felt like I was losing my mind.”
Guy Poking Head Through Beaded Curtain Can Tell You Exactly Why It’s Called 420
“So, what happened was, like, there was this school in California, and — wait, did someone let the cat out? You gotta watch your feet when you come in, or he’ll run out!” Cobb said, who went on to yell “Bonkers!” several times in an effort to locate his cat, Bonkers.
Domino’s Drivers Putting On Their 4/20 Tires
“You need these more durable tires to get you through our mandatory 24-hour 4/20 shift with traction and toughness to spare. This is what we train for all year. This is when the professionals show what they’re made of.”
420 Credit Score Almost Worth It
“Sure, I’ll never buy a house, it’ll be super hard to find a good job, and no one will probably ever rent to me, but all of that is almost worth it to have a mildly funny credit score for these next couple weeks until it changes again.”
Modern Day Cinderella Leaves Half-Smoked Bowl Behind
“I’ve gone to parties with Spencer [Cobb] for years, and I’ve seen a ton of girls get bored and just leave while he’s in the bathroom or something… and he just goes back to playing video games or whatever. But I’ve never seen him run after their busted-ass Honda Civic, asking for their name. She must be really special.”
Stoner-Tech Metal Band Trying Really Hard to Write Song in 4/20 Time
“We took a much-needed smoke break at practice when [bassist] Steve [Fernil] goes, ‘What if we wrote a concept album with 420 super-short tracks?’” said guitarist Ricky Hensley. “But, then, I’m like, ‘What if we wrote a song in 4/20 time?’ We knew this was huge, so we immediately took one more massive rip and got to work.”
Funyuns and Shasta Left Out For Weed Guy
“I really hope he drops by tonight and gets me that Watermelon Kush I asked for. I’ve been pretty good this year, so I’m optimistic,” reported one local stoner.