PIKE CREEK, Del. — A mysterious woman who left behind a half-smoked bowl at a party last night before rushing out the door is being called “…like, a modern day Cinderella” by the man chatting with her all evening, intrigued sources confirm.
“It was like something out of a fairy tale!” said Devon Dhawan, a witness on a recliner on the other side of the room. “I’ve gone to parties with Spencer [Cobb] for years, and I’ve seen a ton of girls get bored and just leave while he’s in the bathroom or something… and he just goes back to playing video games or whatever. But I’ve never seen him run after their busted-ass Honda Civic, asking for their name. She must be really special.”
A Facebook post from Cobb confirmed his “missing love” was wearing an “elegant” Anthropologie crop top and skinny jeans before disappearing around midnight — shortly after which, she reportedly changed into a baggy shirt and glasses while she waited for a frozen pizza to cook in her mouse-infested attic apartment.
“Yeah, I don’t know… I was just super tired and hungry, and this dude wouldn’t shut up about Prince, so I just dipped,” said the alleged Cinderella, 26-year-old Katy Lopez. “Plus, my girlfriend works third shift and needed the car.”
As Cobb’s heart pines for what he believes may be his “one, true love,” his hope for a glorious, romantic reunification remains strong.
“I just hope she’s out there on a couch somewhere, thinking about me,” said Cobb. “Maybe she’s out there right now flipping through channels, and a commercial for Sonic will come on, and she’ll remember how we talked about how awesome it would be if Sonic delivered. I know I will.”
At press time, Cobb put out an official call to the women in his town via Tinder, asking anyone who may have been at the party that night — or any other women between the ages of 20 and 45 in general — if they “wanna come by for a sesh and just chill or whatevs, maybe see if this might be a cool fit, 6’2” nothing serious #420.”